.png)
Good morning! And Welcome to myBlog Nomadic Gemini. Where we hold space for transforming trauma, igniting your purpose, and rewriting your story, one chapter at a time.
How is everyone today? I’m thrilled beyond belief that winter is officially over, and it is finally spring! At least that’s what our calendars say, right? We do have a chance at one more blast of snow in a few days but I’m hoping that just goes away!
Well, it’s been a while, so before I get started with part 6 of today’s blog series, I wanted to fill you in on what I’m currently working on, any life updates happening, and what you can expect moving forward.
So, let’s see… in my author life, I’m knee deep in the middle of my first ever cozy-mystery series “Menopause and Muffin Tops” and the name of the novel I’m working on is “Brewed to Perfection.” It’s about a middle-aged woman, Charlie, who is coming out of a brutal divorce, her last kid has just left for college, and she is at a crossroads, begging to find herself again as she embarks on a journey to find herself.
She ends up starting over quite by accident in the cozy, East Coast town of Brewster Bay, where she quickly discovers that nothing is as cozy as it seems.
She goes to the doctor complaining about all these annoying symptoms she’s having thanks to the joy of going through menopause and he puts her on brand new medication sure to solve all her problems. Only it doesn’t. It makes things worse.
She begins experiencing bizarre side effects that lead her on wild goose chases in the middle of the night, sleep eating, sleep cooking, sleep jogging, and on one late night amnesia like escapade, she discovers a body in the woods, but doesn’t even remember finding it the next day when the police show up to question her.
When her ex-husband, Max Reynolds, is found dead, she suddenly becomes the focus and prime suspect in a murder investigation where all clues point to her.
The remainder of the book is spent unraveling clues and untying ties to the town’s hidden past to reveal who the real killer is and with any luck, to clear her name.
It’s humorous, it’s suspenseful, it’s fun, it’s entertaining, and I can’t wait to share it with all of you very soon.
In fact, it’s probably the most enjoyable and fun thing I’ve ever written - probably because I can totally relate to a lot of the content at my age. 🙂
Okay, so in our personal life - we are in the middle of planning a small getaway in July for a much needed mini-vacation, just my hubby and I. Call it a pre-celebration if you will for this October.
In October, we will be traveling to the East Coast again to see our daughter Meg, her husband Troy, and our two precious grandbabies that we miss so very much, one of which tells me on the daily “I wish you could come see me, Grandma.”
On that trip, we will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary and traveling to some of our very favorite spots, before, during, and after the trip to PA and basking in the memories we’ve created over the past 25 years together.
It’s been a wild ride, and I wouldn’t have wanted to do it with anyone else!
Speaking of my hubby - we just did part two of the apology language series we are working on together.
The first part was about unlearning unhealthy apology habits and how righting wrongs and expressing sincere regret lead to reconciliation and a healthier marriage.
This episode we just did on Monday night was about how your love language affects your language of apology as well.
I hope you’ll check it out! We are going through the book “The 5 Apology Languages: The Secret to Healthy Relationships” by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas and should be recording part 3 very soon.
Okay, so what plans do I have in store for the podcast moving forward?
Once this series on unraveling the past from A-Z is done, I am going to shift my focus more to my innate purpose as a writing coach - helping others unlock their purpose by embarking on a transformative writing journey through topics of self-discovery, rewriting old narratives, and healing from past trauma by finding their voice and telling their story.
Feel free to reach out either by email: skfrazier333@gmail.com
Or share your ideas in the comments below.
What topics do you need help with when it comes to writing your story?
Have you thought about writing a book but you don’t know where to start?
Or have you written a book but don’t know how to get started with self-publishing it?
I am here and can help you with all of it!
If you don’t want to wait for the series and are ready to get started now, I have a couple of books out on Amazon that might help at least get you fired up and ready to go:
The first one is Lessons Learned: Things I Wish I Knew Before I Wrote the Book
The second is Lessons Learned: Things I Wish I Knew Before I Published the Book
Both are Comprehensive Survival Guides to Editing and Publishing an Unforgettable Narrative.
Both are available on Amazon, and I’ve listed the links below:
Each week, I will be sharing tips, advice, insights, inspiration, and writing prompts to get you started on writing your story, whether it be a personal memoir to help you heal, or whether it be teaching you how to get your feet wet and trying your hand at writing a fiction novel, or nonfiction self-help type book that provides guidance to others on how to improve an area of the reader’s life or inspires them to try something new.
I’m excited about redefining and refueling my own purpose while helping you discover yours too.
Okay, now that I’ve caught you up to speed, how about we dive in and get to work?
As I said earlier, today is part 6 of my 26 part series: Unraveling the Past from A-Z: Exploring the Layers of Trauma and Uncovering a Path Towards Healing.
This series delves into the enduring impact of childhood trauma, unraveling the persistent memories that linger and shape our adult selves.
As we navigate the intricate web of generational trauma, we are exploring its influence on our thoughts, emotions, and identity.
By confronting our ghosts, shedding layers of false identities we’ve accepted as truth, and rewriting our narrative, we embark on a journey of healing and self-discovery.
Each chapter rewritten is a step towards healing the deep-seated wounds that bind us. Today, I delve into the layers of the letter “F” in my life through the lens of:
I am fireflies (reconnecting with my childhood self),
I am fearful (unraveling the effects of trauma),
I am fierce (embracing transformation and purpose).
Chasing Fireflies: Finding Joy in Simple Moments
As I sit down to write this, a flood of memories comes rushing back, and I feel a wave of nostalgia and warmth.
If I close my eyes, I can still feel the gentle summer breeze brushing against my skin again.
I can hear the sound of laughter and feel the pulsating energy of youth running through my veins.
Ah, the days when I roamed freely, with nothing but the world and its wonders as my playground.
Reflecting on those carefree days of my childhood, I am transported back to a time when catching fireflies felt like capturing tiny drops of happiness in the palm of my hand.
Did anyone else take glass jars outside, ones with holes poked into the lids, and collect lightning bugs and fireflies? We would sit on the screened in porch after we gathered as many as we could, turn off the lights.
Those nights were alive with the flickering lights of these mystical creatures, and with each gentle touch, I felt my spirit light up with joy. It was a time of innocence, a time of pure, unadulterated happiness.
But chasing fireflies became more than just a game for me.
It was a connection to my inner child, a way to tap into a sense of wonder and awe that seems too often lost in the hustle and bustle of adult life.
The joy I felt as I watched those tiny lightning bugs dance before my eyes was pure and untainted.
It was a happiness that didn't depend on material possessions or external validation, but on the sheer delight of being present in the moment.
In those moments of simplicity where my only concern was chasing fireflies, I wasn't burdened by the weight of the world or the worries of tomorrow.
In those innocent and fleeting moments, I was fearless, unburdened by the worries of tomorrow, wrapped in the magic of the present.
The simple act of running through the fields, following the trail of those shimmering lights, filled me with a sense of freedom that is hard to replicate in adulthood.
It was a time when the only limits were those of my imagination, and creativity knew no bounds.
As I look back on those memories, I am reminded of the importance of reconnecting with my childhood self now.
That fearless, carefree little girl still lives within me somewhere, no matter how deeply buried she’s been for the past 50 years or so, waiting to be rediscovered.
I guess I am looking at this new season of my life as a time of reawakening and discovering the woman I want to be now. Perhaps a better version than the ones who’ve gone before me.
In our fast-paced world, it is all too easy to lose touch with that inner innocence, that sense of freedom and fearlessness, isn’t it?
But by taking the time to reflect on those simple moments of chasing fireflies, taking time to slow down and gaze at the stars, taking a moment out of your day just to be still and listen to the universe and pray or meditate, we can reconnect with our true essence.
By embracing the joy of our childhood memories, we learn to nurture our inner child with love and care.
Let us rediscover the happiness that comes from living without fear of what the future holds, and instead, bask in the beauty of the present moment.
Let us chase our own metaphorical fireflies, and reignite the spark of wonder and magic that lies within us all.
Living on the Edge of Fear: How Trauma Turned Me into a 'Safety First' Superhero"
I’ll call this section the “What IF Chronicles - How Trauma Turned Me into a Self-Proclaimed 'Safety Expert'"
As many of us do when our lives spin out of control for reasons beyond our control, I became fearful over time of many, many, MANY things.
In the wake of that once fearless and carefree child, was the embodiment of an anxiety ridden human that life carved out a person I didn't recognize anymore due to trauma.
So let's set the stage - imagine a version of yourself that you barely recognize. That was me. Events in my life unfolded in a way that left me feeling like a stranger in my own skin. Trauma has this sneaky way of creeping in and reshaping who we are, often without us even realizing it.
I found myself living in the shadow of fear, constantly on edge and worried about what might happen next. The fear of losing more loved ones tragically, the fear of facing my own mortality - it was all too much to bear. So, what did I do? I became the self-proclaimed superhero of ‘safety first.’
Every move I made was meticulously planned. I had Plan A, Plan B, and heck, even a Plan C just in case things didn't go as expected. Spontaneity? Ha! That word was not in my vocabulary. I was rigid, afraid to step out of my carefully constructed bubble of safety.
But here's the kicker - living in constant fear and worry is exhausting. It's like carrying around a backpack filled with bricks, weighing you down at every turn. I realized that my fear was not serving me, it was imprisoning me.
I learned that I had to unravel the effects of trauma's role in shaping my existence and learn to let go of the need to control every little detail.
I had to confront the 'what if' scenarios that played on a loop in my mind and challenge the notion that being safe meant being confined.
And that, my friends, is not an easy thing to let go of and learn to open yourself up again to being hurt, should something go horribly wrong, just like these scenarios that play on repeat in the middle of my anxiety-ridden brain in the middle of the night.
It's a work in progress, for sure. But step by step, I'm learning to loosen the grip of fear and anxiety. I'm slowly allowing myself the freedom to embrace spontaneity, to take risks, and to live without constantly worrying about what might go wrong.
Now, I love love love to travel, and I’m a Nomad at heart. Once I’m out on the road and about 3-4 hours away from home, my body instantly relaxes and I’m able to be in the moment and enjoy vacation to the fullest.
But those days, weeks, and even minutes and hours leading up to our departure are full of “what’s ifs” and complete dread that something bad could happen while we’re out on the road.
But look at all the opportunities I would have missed out on had I given into panic and let fear control the decision and decide to stay home in my safe little cocoon instead!
We’ve had some pretty incredibly beautiful experiences out on the road and it makes my heart long for more and more and more.
So, to all my fellow safety-first superheroes out there, remember this - it's okay to let go of the reins every once in a while.
Life is meant to be lived, not just survived.
And who knows, you might just surprise yourself with how resilient and brave you truly are when you dare to step outside your comfort zone.
Until next time, stay fearless, my friends! It’s time to learn to do all of the things that set our souls on fire, even if it means taking one tiny step at a time out of that comfort zone to get there.
Overcoming Fear and Anxiety: Finding Your Inner Child Through Fearless Exploration and a Fierce Determination to Thrive, Not Merely Survive
So at this stage in the journey of my life, or maybe due to the sneaky little midlife crisis I seem to be experiencing some days, I am learning to throw caution to the wind and laugh in the face of danger.
That reminds me of the movie Lion King where Simba says, “I laugh in the face of danger” while wandering in the Elephant graveyard. It’s the scene where the hyenas threaten to eat Simba and Nala.
I don’t know if I would have had enough courage to do the same - would you?
But I’d like to get to the point one day where I push back at all of those negative thoughts inside my head - the ones that tell me I’ll fail. The ones that say you’ll never be good enough. The ones that say ‘don’t take another step forward or you’ll be eaten by a whole cackle of hyenas waiting around the next turn.”
So let’s talk about that all-too-familiar word ‘anxiety’ for a moment before we move on. Let’s not live in denial and pretend we all haven’t experienced it in some form or another. And let’s discuss the elephant in the room and remove some of the power it holds over us.
So how many of you have ever felt paralyzed by fear and crippling anxiety, unable to break free from the chains of unresolved trauma that lingered in your mind and heart? I know that feeling all too well.
For the longest time, I was haunted by my past, struggling to find any semblance of peace and joy amidst the chaos of my inner turmoil.
Every step I took was like wading through quicksand, weight down by the weight of the past.
But then, a flicker of light pierced through the darkness, igniting a spark within me to dance with danger and embrace the unknown.
I realized that life is too short to be held back by fear and that healing begins with unraveling the layers of trauma that bind us.
With each moment of facing my fears head-on, I discovered a newfound strength and resilience that I never knew existed.
And then one day, I made a choice.
I decided that I would no longer allow fear to dictate my life. I was tired of being a prisoner to my own thoughts and emotions.
I wanted to break free, to dance with danger and laugh in the face of anxiety. I craved a sense of fierce determination, a fiery passion that would drive me towards my purpose, no matter how daunting the journey seemed.
Now, I’m trying to turn those scary moments of facing unknown circumstances into life lessons to grow from.
Don’t get me wrong. Growing pains sometimes hurt. And every once in a while, I retreat back into my cocoon of safety and only poke my head out long enough to breathe and get some air.
But then I remember the little girl I once was, and I reach for the hand of the woman I so desperately long to become.
I am learning to find joy in the simple moments, like chasing fireflies on warm summer evenings and reveling in the spontaneity of life’s unpredictable twists and turns.
I say instead of fearing what lies ahead, let’s hold on tight and enjoy every second of the wild ride life has in store.
Each experience, each step to overcoming obstacles and facing our fears, no matter how small, becomes a stepping stone towards a life filled with purpose and meaning.
This pursuit of passion and purpose will become a beacon of light guiding us through the darkest of times, reminding us that we are capable of overcoming any obstacle that comes our way.
So hold onto that fierce determination within you, let it propel you forward towards a life filled with purpose and fulfillment. Embrace the challenges, dance with danger, and laugh in the face of fear, for it is through these experiences that we truly discover the depth of our own strength and resilience.
Through this journey of self-discovery and growth, may the pursuit of purpose be a powerful antidote to fear.
When we are aligned with our true calling, when we are living authentically and passionately, fear loses its grip on us.
We become fierce in our determination to do what sets our souls on fire, no matter the obstacles that stand in our way.
So how do we start on this wild and freeing adventure, you ask? Well, buckle up, my fellow thrill-seekers, because I've got a roadmap to guide you through the maze of anxiety and lead you back to the land of living in joy. Here are a few planned steps and nuggets of advice to help you heal that anxious heart and reignite your inner flame:
1. Embrace the Unknown: Acknowledge your fears, but instead of bracing for the worst, choose to see the unknown as a playground of possibilities. Let go of the need for certainty and open yourself up to the magic of spontaneity.
2. Find and Reconnect With Your Inner Child: Remember the carefree, imaginative spirit you had as a kid?The one chasing fireflies without a care in the world? It's time to reconnect with that inner child and rediscover the wonder and innocence that come with it.
3. Practice Mindfulness/Surround Yourself With Positive Energy: Stay present in the moment and focus on the here and now. Let go of worries about the past or future, and instead, savor the joy that each moment brings. Seek out supportive friends and family members and surround yourself with people who uplift you on your journey and who encourage you to be your authentic self.
4. Laugh Often: Laughter truly is the best medicine. So, make it a point to find humor in everyday situations, crack a joke, and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. It's a surefire way to lighten the load of anxiety.
5. Take Risks: Step out of your comfort zone and take small calculated risks that excite you. Whether it's trying a new hobby, speaking your mind, or embarking on a new adventure – do something that sets your soul on fire.
6. Thrive, Don't Just Survive: Life is too short to merely exist. Don't waste precious time fretting about what might go wrong. Instead, focus on thriving, embracing challenges, and living life to the fullest.
So, my fellow adventurers, let's dare to dance again, laugh in the face of anxiety, and reclaim the joy that's rightfully ours.
In Conclusion:
I stand before you today as a testament and sharing my story about chasing those elusive fireflies and learning to live free. You see, I used to be afraid of the dark, scared of what might jump out at me from the shadows.
Trauma had a way of coloring my view of the world, making me see dangers around every corner. Living in fear became my norm, like a comfy-but-terrifying security blanket.
But one day, something shifted.
I decided to get out there and chase those fireflies into the unknown instead of waiting for joy to come to me, to take a chance on experiencing and happiness and passion and freedom that comes from letting go and letting God.
It wasn't easy, let me tell you.
Learning to let go of anxiety and fear felt like trying to untangle a mess of Christmas lights - frustrating and overwhelming. And sometimes I wished I could just throw the old me away and open up a new box of lights (or create a new me somehow) - one in perfect condition without all the tangles of trauma and start over entirely.
Yet slowly but surely, I began to find myself again. I started to recognize that the fears holding me back were nothing more than illusions, smoke and mirrors designed to keep me small.
And you know what? I am tired of playing small.
I am tired of missing out on what sets my soul on fire, on the things in life that truly bring me joy.
So, I am taking a leap of faith. I am starting by releasing the grip that fear had on me and embracing the uncertainty of the unknown.
And you know what I am discovering? That the light of those fireflies was nothing compared to the light that shines from within me when I let go of my fears.
Will my fear just suddenly disappear because I wish or will it to go away? I doubt it. That’s not how fear, or life, works.
But when the pain of staying the same is greater than the fear of the unknown…
That’s when we step up our game. That’s when we let go of fear.
That’s when we know we are ready for change.
It's a journey, my friends.
A journey of self-discovery, of learning to trust yourself and your instincts.
So, don't be afraid to chase those fireflies, to seek out what brings you joy and fills your heart with light.
Because when you let go of fear, when you release the anxiety that binds you, you'll find a freedom and a joy that is truly incomparable.
So go on, my fellow firefly chasers, and live free.
Let your soul ignite with passion and purpose, and don't let fear hold you back. Because the world is waiting for you to shine your light bright and illuminate the darkness with your unique brilliance.
The world is full of endless possibilities.
Let’s go catch that joy and freedom we once knew and in the process, fall in love with the things that truly set our freaking souls on fire!
I hope this episode has motivated you as much as it has me to want to unravel those layers so that eventually we can learn to thrive, not just to merely survive as we’ve done in the past.
Most of all, hope, I hope you know that you are loved, you are worthy, and you are enough, no matter where you are in your healing journey.
Together, we can, and will, heal as we learn to let the past go and welcome in this next chapter, turning pages of transformation, healing, and change, chasing fireflies along the way.
I can't wait to see where this new road takes us as we embrace this new year and make it into everything we need it to be.
Thanks for being here. And thanks for making a difference in my life.
I wouldn't be where I am today without you.
Hang in there, and know that you are loved from here to the universe and back.
Until next time, I am unconditionally yours,
All my love,
~ Sadie
