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Hello all! And Welcome to my Blog, Nomadic Gemini. Where we hold space for transforming trauma, igniting your purpose, and rewriting your story, one chapter at a time.
Though I started the series a week or so ago on my Podcast ,In Pursuit of Purpose, in Season 3: Episode 2 titled “The Road to Absolution: Finding Myself Again After Trauma. I am Adventure. I am Alone. I am Absolution,” I am officially officially announcing a new series title for this episode and many more to come!
For the next 26 episodes and blog posts, I’ll be focused on sharing insight on topics from a brand new thought-provoking series I’ve named: Unraveling the Past from A-Z: Exploring the Layers of Trauma and Uncovering a Path Towards Healing.
This series will explore the lingering effects of trauma from childhood.
We will examine the remnants of those haunting memories and how patterns and cycles of generational trauma impact our thoughts, emotions, and self-perception as an adult.
In upcoming episodes we will also discuss the challenges of confronting those ghosts, unbecoming everything we were never meant to have become in the first place, and, finally, together, we will learn how to reframe narratives, embrace vulnerability, and foster growth in rewriting our story, one chapter at a time, to heal from these deeply-rooted wounds of the past.
In today’s episode (and the 2nd part of this 26-part series), I will be talking about being Brave as a child, becoming Broken, and learning to become Bold again as I take the next step in my journey towards healing.
Unveiling My Bravery as a Child
Oh, the memories of childhood bravery!
Where shall I start?
Imagine this: in a picturesque backyard setting, a cluster of 1st grade girls are engrossed in an exhilarating game of "Truth or Dare."
Little Sadie, the ever imaginative young girl up next, felt a surge of excitement when she bravely accepted the challenge of seeing who could run the fastest from the back door of the babysitter’s kitchen, all the way through the house, navigating every obstacle in between, and sprinting through the front screen door and out onto the front porch as fast as she could.
She was, of course, being timed by the others, and she believed she could run fast enough to beat them all.
I might interject here that the others had all had their turn already, and we’d been called in for lunch by our favorite babysitter, Dorothy, and had taken a break to eat.
Washed up and ready to continue our early afternoon adventure, it was my turn to complete the race and nothing could have stopped me now!
I steadied my nerves, swallowed hard and exhaled, shifting my feet beneath me in preparation of when they would say the words.
“Ready,” Amy said with anticipation.
“Set,” Colleen said with excitement.
“Go!” Trisha bellowed with delight as I hit the ground running and ran as fast as my feet could carry me.
I swear I could feel the wind beneath me, even though there were no trees in sight.
I felt the heat under my little feet burning as it ignited and I took off in a blaze of glory, sure to win the bestest prize.
It was the last thing I remember really, before a crash, bang, boom, then blood… I gazed up from an astonished position on the gray painted, splintered wood floor of the front screened in porch, and hesitated before I let out my first wail.
They all just stood there, shocked as much as I.
Dorothy scooped me up into her arms and rushed me towards the bathroom, blood gushing from my chin, crimson droplets splashing the wood as she hurried me into the house.
She carefully cleaned up my wounds. Superficial mostly, save for the tiniest sliver of glass she wasn’t able to get out.
As it turned out, as we ate lunch, the babysitter had locked the front hook and eye latch on the wooden paneled storm door.
And I, unknowingly, completed my race by crashing straight through it and landing in a heap of glass and wood instead.
I would proudly carry that life lesson and shard of glass inside the slightly raised scar just under my chin as a reminder.
And each time I think of it, I remember how brave I was to this day.
Now, think back to your own childhood. In what ways do you remember being brave?
Did some of us get hurt by fearlessly following our imaginations down a rabbit hole of fantasy driven dreams? Sure… but you know what?
I really miss those days sometimes.
The awe. The wonder. The simplicity of it all.
Even if, in the end, I have scars to prove how much that bravery hurt.
The Day I Became Broken and Learned to Be Not So Brave…
I remember it as if it were yesterday. The room with two black leather Lazy Boys placed with a table nestled in between. A fireplace. A cozy couch. One of my favorite rooms in the house.
I was six years old when they sat me down, and told me they were getting a divorce.
I was shocked, though I didn’t quite understand all the ways my innocent little 6-year-old life was truly about to change.
I began questioning even at such a young age if what I felt was normal and feeling something missing inside and lost. Sadly, I can trace the first inkling of understanding brokenness to the moment my parents said “we’re getting a divorce.”
And it’s not their fault. And I don’t blame them for splitting up. They did the best thing for them at that moment. It was the right thing to do. I know in my heart it was.
But it wasn’t just the divorce, I guess, that broke me.
It was the not being allowed to say my dad’s name. Or my grandparent’s names after the day he left.
Or refusing to allow me to celebrate a part of my bloodline and ancestry I should have been proud of and should have been allowed to ask questions about and even acknowledge the parts that made me who I was.
The first time I flew across the U.S. alone, with my 4 year old brother in tow, was my first taste at how life would be now, bouncing between two households. Two parents who now lived thousands of miles apart.
Two step-parents, another half sibling, and step siblings that wanted to definitely be called “step.”
It hurt that when I stepped off the plane after being gone six weeks with my dad, that I was never able to share the things that happened when I was at his house.
The funny things, the happy things, the memories we made that I could tell no one of the moment I walked through the door to come home.
In fact not only couldn’t I share it, but I was told never to speak his name.
What hurts the most is that before long, with a “new dad” in the picture, I was made to pretend like he never existed at all.
That is what broke my heart.
I kept it suppressed for years and years and years because that’s what I was made to feel I had to do to be loved.
It wasn’t until just within the past couple of years to be honest that I’ve allowed myself to really begin to consider and relive how that shaped me. How it hurt me. And ultimately, how it broke me inside.
I’m thankful that my dad is still here for me to make amends with now.
To have real conversations that hurt like hell but that we can talk about now and express how much those years without each other hurt. And we can make new memories now so we can heal.
But I can’t help think about the time we lost. How we can never get that time back again.
And I need to learn to forgive those who did this. One of which is no longer here. One left who isn’t sorry at all.
I’m working on it day by day, and I wonder - do you have skeletons like this in your own closet? Ones you’ve never been able to release?
I want to show you through my own healing journey that I understand. I get it. And my heart hurts for you too.
But I promise, there is a way out. There is a path ahead that leads to healing.
But first, we have to admit those things out loud you’ve always been afraid to say. Whether it be because you think it might hurt someone’s feelings, or that you’re too afraid to admit the truth.
Taking this first step forward and being brave and bold enough to admit that yes, your trauma shaped who you might be in this moment, but you can do the work to work through the hard things, the things you were afraid to once admit.
And you can finally pen the first line of your healing by putting one foot in front of the other and moving in the direction of your healing by leaving the past behind.
Unraveling the Past to Uncover a Path towards Healing
It takes an immense amount of courage to confront the traumas of our past, especially those that stem from childhood experiences.
These early adversities often linger in the depths of our subconscious, subtly shaping our beliefs and behaviors.
However, by bravely delving into the layers of our childhood trauma, we can begin to uncover a path towards healing.
This process involves acknowledging the pain, validating the emotions, and gradually unraveling the tangled web of past experiences.
Embracing Vulnerability to Foster Personal Growth
One of the key strategies to breaking free from childhood trauma is embracing vulnerability.
It may seem counterintuitive, especially when our natural instinct is to shield ourselves from further pain.
After all, that’s exactly what I’ve done for 54 years.
However, it is through vulnerability that we can foster true growth and connection. By allowing ourselves to feel and express our emotions, we open the door to healing and reclamation of personal power.
I just didn’t feel that until now, I truly had the power to make that choice.
I’m still not sure I feel brave enough to step into that power and reclaim what I’ve lost.
But I’m working on it. One word, one line, one painful memory at a time.
Crafting a New Narrative: Rewriting Your Storyline
Childhood trauma often shapes the narratives we tell ourselves – narratives that may limit our potential and hinder our ability to thrive.
Yet, it is within our power to rewrite these storylines, to transform the narrative of victimhood into a narrative of resilience and empowerment.
By acknowledging the bravery it takes to confront our traumas, we begin the process of rewriting our story, creating a new narrative that reflects our strength and resilience.
In conclusion, breaking free from childhood trauma requires immense bravery and boldness.
It involves unraveling the layers of past experiences, embracing vulnerability, and crafting a new narrative that empowers us to heal.
By acknowledging how much courage and bravery it’s already taken to get us where we are today, we can learn to foster an environment of self-compassion, and we can transform trauma into a source of strength and resilience, ultimately becoming bold in our journey towards healing.
I encourage you to give yourself a little grace, a little mercy as you are learning a new form of self-care and self-love, which is often the hardest part of your journey if I’m being honest.
At least it is that way for me.
Growing up, many of us have experienced childhood trauma that has left deep scars.
However, it is important to remember that we have the power to break free from these painful memories and embark on a journey of healing.
Bravery becomes the key to interrupting the strategies that keep us trapped in the past.
By becoming bold and facing our fears head-on, we can begin to dismantle the walls that have held us back for so long.
It may not be an easy path, but with a whole lot of strength and determination, we can take the necessary steps towards healing and reclaiming our lives.
Childhood trauma is a heavy burden that weighs us down throughout our lives, but it doesn't have to define us.
We have the power to break free from the chains of our past and embark on a journey of healing and self-discovery.
It takes bravery to confront our trauma head-on, but the rewards are immeasurable.
By interrupting the patterns and strategies that have kept us stuck in our pain, we can start to become bold in our pursuit of healing.
It's about challenging the negative beliefs we've internalized and replacing them with empowering ones.
It's about seeking therapy, support groups, or other resources that can guide us on this transformative journey.
It's about finding the courage to face our fears, to embrace vulnerability, and to let go of the past.
With determination and a conviction that we deserve better, we can break free from the grip of childhood trauma and create a brighter, more fulfilling future for ourselves.
By implementing strategies that empower us to heal, we can become bold and resilient individuals.
Like I mentioned a moment ago, one effective strategy is seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, to navigate the complexities of our traumatic experiences.
These professionals can provide a safe and supportive environment where we can explore our emotions, develop coping mechanisms, and learn to reframe our narratives.
Additionally, building a strong support system of friends, family, or support groups can provide a sense of belonging and validation, reminding us that we are not alone in our journey.
Engaging in self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or creative outlets, can also help us reconnect with ourselves and cultivate a sense of inner strength.
It is important to remember that healing is a process, and it requires perseverance and determination.
By embracing these strategies, we can break free from the shackles of childhood trauma and become bold individuals who are capable of reclaiming our lives and rewriting our narratives.
It is evident that bravery can be interrupted by childhood trauma, but it is not the end of the story.
By implementing the strategies discussed in this blog, individuals can break free from their past and become bold in their journey to healing.
Remember, you are brave for facing your trauma, you may have been broken in the past, but now it's time to be bold and embrace your healing journey.
It's time to step into your purpose and rewrite your story.
You are brave, you are bold, and you are capable of healing.
Keep moving forward and remember that you are not alone in this journey.
Let's continue to rewrite our stories, one bold step, one healing chapter at a time.
I hope you'll continue to join me for this brand-new series about Unraveling the Past from A-Z: Exploring the Layers of Trauma and Uncovering a Path Towards Healing.
I hope this episode has motivated you as much as it has me to want to unravel those layers so that eventually we can learn to thrive, not just to merely survive as we’ve done in the past.
Most of all, hope, I hope you know that you are loved, you are worthy, and you are enough, no matter where you are in your healing journey.
Together, we can, and will, heal as we learn to let the past go and welcome in this next chapter, turning pages of transformation, healing, and change.
I can't wait to see where this new road takes us as we embrace this new year and make it into everything we need it to be.
Thanks for being here. And thanks for making a difference in my life.
I wouldn't be where I am today without you.
Hang in there, and know that you are loved from here to the universe and back.
Until next time, I am unconditionally yours,
All my love,
~ Sadie
